Videos Relate to My Rambling Mind

“Lucy” by Skillet

** Warning! I’m really tired! I got home from a marching band competition (yeah, I’m in color guard, but I still compete alongside the marching band) really early Saturday morning (2:45 am) and I’m still really tired! So if this post seems a little random, it probably is. I’m just super tired. It probably isn’t a good idea to blog when you’re this tired, but I need to get this done! **

My boyfriend showed me this song last week because he knows what happened to my dad, and because he doesn’t like the kind of music I listen to J. You know, I learned after listening to this song that it really relates to my life in many different ways:

For part of this video, Lucy is my dad. I remember his birthday, I remember that night that his life came to an end, just like the singer remembers Lucy. I just want to sit and talk to him sometimes, just like the video says.

But with other parts of this video, I am Lucy. “Now that it’s over, I just want to hold her.” I’m her, and my dad just wants to be here with me and hold me tight.

Another part of this video, I think, is the guy that killed my dad. “I have to live with the choices I’ve made.” He hopefully will never forgive himself for what he’s done. I know I won’t.

Everyone tells me I need to forgive him someday. But how can I? He took my childhood hero, my daddy. How can one forgive another for something this big? This guy didn’t push me down on the playground when I was five. He took my daddy when I was fifteen.

I’ve gone ten months without my dad. How am I supposed to go the rest of my life without him? Justice hasn’t been served. I’m not sure when it will be. But this guy deserves to sit in jail for the rest of his life. But he won’t get this sentence. The maximum time he will serve is twenty-five years. How can I live with that knowing I could run into him on the streets one day when I’m older?