Dejavu

It’s dejavu. Four times in ten months. Another visitation, another funeral, another set of tears; another heart break, another family gathering that’s appreciated, but not under the circumstances.

My grandma died Wednesday morning of lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes). It’s hard on the whole family, especially after losing my dad so unexpectedly back in December. My grandpa is left to an empty house, one that hasn’t been left unattended since before I was born, my aunt and uncle told to come home from San Francisco for yet another funeral.

When my dad died, I said I wish I knew it was going to happen so I could be ready for it. Only after watching my grandma suffer did I learn that it makes no difference. It still hurts. It still makes you question what you did wrong to lose yet another loved one.

Life isn’t fair. But sometimes I sure wish it could be. It would make life, especially mine, so much easier.