Thirteen

You know, in just thirteen months, I lost my father to murder, my grandma to lymphoma, and my uncle to complications with his diabetes. In that same thirteen months, I stood by one of my best friends as she cried at her little brother’s funeral: he died in a car accident. I’ve also stood by my grandpa, one of the strongest men I know. After losing his son and his wife, my grandpa also lost his brother, all in the same thirteen months I’ve been talking about. These deaths happened between December of 2008 and January of 2010.

My question has always been, “Why? Why my family? Why me?” Maybe I’m being selfish – I don’t exactly know. All I know is that I’m not strong enough to loose all these people, especially my dad. I was a daddy’s girl – I always have been, always will be.

I can go to church every Sunday, but that doesn’t make me the Christian I used to be. Due to these thirteen months, my faith has changed a lot. I question almost everything that comes my way regarding my faith and my beliefs.

Maybe there’s something I should learn from this – what immediately pops into my head is this: I should learn that life is a gift, not a right. But that seems too easy. It seems like it’s the obvious answer to all this.

Maybe it’s that I have learned who my real friends are. But again, that seems too easy. I guess I sit, wait, and find out… It’s all I can really do…

Blah Blah Blah: Ke$ha

My sister has me addicted to this song now. We tend to say “blah blah blah” a lot to each other when we are annoyed. So now, we just sometimes randomly decide to sing it instead of say it :)
So I guess this is a shout out to my sister – the next time I get annoyed with you, I’m sending you here to listen to this song and read this message!

“Stop ta-ta-talking that
Blah blah blah”



Gotta Keep Moving: Kellie Pickler

Sometimes I think this song really explains my life – sometimes I just want to get out of this town – I want to just speed past those white lines on the highway and get out of town. Sometimes I want out. But I guess what keeps me back here is my boyfriend – the realization that if I leave, I’m being selfish. So I stay here, until the day he decides he wants to go with me…

“I gotta keep moving
With the white lines on the highway
Watchin' every mile go by
The silos and the by-ways
Gotta keep moving
Cause it's been way too long”

Let’s Talk About my Lack of Ability to Think…

Alright – right now I have NO IDEA what to talk about. I have literally no idea. Therefore, I’m just going to blabber on for a few minutes and maybe something useful will come out of my mouth…


Ok, so the Vikings lost last night to the Saints – bummer! I’m not too happy! 3rd or 4th quarter (I can’t remember) Brett Favre got hurt. But he was back in approximately 3 minutes of game time later. So that’s good, I guess. :)

I was supposed to stay with a friend and her parents this weekend to just hang out, but sadly it didn’t work out, so I was left home, bored, with pretty much nothing to do! :(


The Band Carnival was on Saturday. I worked at the game “Pirate Pond” aka “Duck Pond.” The problem with this, though, the ‘water’ was a table covered with a blue tarp – there was no water! This caused kids to be like “wtf” and walk right on by the game. So that was an interesting hour and a half – sitting there watching my friends have fun and be crazy, while I’m sitting at a semi-lame game! Oh well, I won a candy bar at “Walk the Plank” aka “Candy Walk” right after I was done running “Pirate Pond.”

Well, that's all I can think of for now! More later!!!

General Larry Platt!

Ok, for those of you that haven't seen this (and I'm sure all of you have), here's the song everone is talking about!

Pants on the Ground by General Larry Platt

This 62 year old man tried out for American Idol 2010, singing his very own song.

Simon said it would be a hit - he was right. Less than 24 hours later, Pants on the Ground played on radio stations. 24 hours later, there was a Facebook group (that, today, reached 1 million members). 24 hours later, Pants on the Ground became a new song on my iPod (the whole American Idol interview, actually!)

This guy is 62 - and according to Simon, he's "a little over the age limit of 28." In my opinion, this guy should go to Hollywood! So American Idol didn't get him there - so what! He's prolly being asked to sign a record deal right now through some other random company!

Mid Term Madness!

Ahh! It’s midterms! And let me tell you, my grades are terrible! (Ok, so terrible in my eyes!)

Conferences were tonight. And my mom saw my grades. She just said I needed to work a little harder.

So, I grounded myself.

My life will now consist of school, extra curriculars, a little bit of sleep as well as food, and studying.

I will give myself a free day – Saturday – to be with friends and with my boyfriend.

In my eyes, this isn’t extreme at all. This is what I need to do to get into law school. Law school will not accept C’s. Heck, I don’t even know if they will accept B’s!

My boyfriend, on the other hand, thinks this is extreme. He’s one of those abnormal people that can read something once and do fine on a test. I, on the other hand, need hours and hours and hours of time to study – time that I don’t have (and if I have the time, I spend it doing other things). Well, now I’m going to find that time, even if it is at three o’clock in the morning. I’m going to do well in school, no matter what it takes.

I want to be a lawyer – this is the price I pay.

Trial Date Set!

Finally! The trial date has been set! It has been postponed five or six times for various reasons…

I’m really happy because the judge finally said this would be the last time she would allow for a postponement. This means that this is the trial date, whether the defense is ready or not. :) :)

I have a lot of work to do to get ready for this trial, but at least I have almost four months to prepare and get ready for this whole thing. I’m ready for this to be over – I’m ready for my life to be out of the press and out of the public eye. I’m looking forward to this trial, mainly for that reason – to have some privacy!

Bad Influence?!

I walk to the pop machine at 10:10am yesterday at church, talking with a few of my friends, one a mom, Jenny*, and one a girl two years younger than me, Lauren*. Sunday school started at 10:00, but I wanted a pop, so decided to go there before going to my class. Then, out walks Lauren’s mom, furious that her daughter isn’t to Sunday school on time, even though the service that was supposed to get done at 10:00 got done at 10:05. She blames the whole thing on me, saying I’ve skipped before and that I’m a bad influence to her daughter and to another friend of mine that’s four years younger than me.

My immediate response was, “WTF!?” I just ignored it and walked to Sunday school.

The, last night, I had youth group. Lauren’s mom was there, glaring at me the whole two hours I was there. I wanted to confront her, but I couldn’t pull her away from the group long enough. She knew I was mad, because I just glared right back at her and didn’t say anything to her the whole night.

I was NOT a happy person last night and actually ended up getting mad at a few people on Facebook once I got home because I was in such a bad mood…


I decided to choose this song to put up in my blog because I just needed a little Screamo. I needed a little pick-me-up; an easy way to try to release the anger…


*names have been changed